When You Get Confused About Feelings
by wixley-kryptonese
Summary: Spock loves Jane. He's a bit confused at the idea. So he calls his dear mummy, Amanda Grayson. Unfortunately, Amanda's drunk and wants weird alien hybrid grandbabies, after he tells her Jane is recovering from Sex Pollen./ femJim Kirk, female James Kirk, femJames, Jane!Kirk, Jim/Spock, femJim/Spock Jane/Spock, weird alien baby, call your mum when you get confused by pretty girls./


"Captain, I ask you to desist."

Jane grinned woozily at him, eyes sparking dully. "But Spocky, why would I want to?" The Vulcan's ear-tips turned green at her words, before he took her hands that roamed his shoulders and pushed both them and her down onto the med-bed, where straps came up to hold her in place. She thrashed for a second, before McCoy injected her with a sedative.

"She'll be out for another few hours," McCoy said, voice filled with consternation before he turned to Spock. "Are you okay?" Spock frowned.

"My health is satisfactory, Doctor. Is there any reason I should be worried?"

McCoy gave him an awkward look, "Just, uh, Vulcan's – touch-telepathic race, and she had her hands, uh…everywhere." Spock flushed a dark green at the memory, before he made an aborted movement to nod.

"I will- I will need some time alone. Meditation should help with the adverse effects to the Captain's actions." Spock, however, knew he would need more than meditation. Leaving the medical bay, he headed for his quarters.

 _I will have to employ some more human methods_ , he thought, trying to avoid all contact with the crew, taking a long, convoluted route trying to avoid being in the same corridor as anyone. His mind barriers were damaged, having been practically decimated by Captain Jane Kirk's wild, and almost unbelievable amount of emotions. She had felt many things, and- and she had _meant_ to pass them to him, something unpreceded when it came to human reactions to the aptly nicknamed 'Sex Pollen' of Celera. Documented infections among humans had only produced symptoms of lust and high adrenaline, and urges to 'get it out of their system', to quote Doctor McCoy, not-

 _Not the urge to mate_ , as Jane had clearly tried to do with him. She knew exactly where to touch him, what ritualistic places to caress and how to do it – and the emotion, only ever present during mating between species with lacking emotional control, _love_ , had been pressing against him lightly in comparison to everything else, which was what made it more special than everything. Jane hadn't meant to send it – she was in fact pulling it away. The revelation that his Captain, his Jane-

Spock felt lucky that he'd reached his cabin as he stopped abruptly. _His Jane? My…_ _ **my**_ _Jane?_ He needed help. Desperately.

Going over to his computer, Spock attempted to use the interplanetary communications channel, looking towards his mother's profile. Unfortunately, it was busy – she was probably busy with her ambassadorial duties, a way for her to ignore the prospect of 'getting over' Sarek, to use the human term. Ever since Vulcan's internal collapse, due to Nero's manipulation and Red Matter, Amanda Grayson, his mother, had been having a hard time. Spock could for once understand – he may not have been very close at all to his father, but he still felt abject loss at his father's passing. His mother's grief was undeterminable, as while he knew some of the extent of their relationship, human emotion still managed to confound him in said matters.

-which was why he was wanting to speak to his mother about being in love with Jane Theodora Kirk.

Spock waited a while for her to be available – four point eight nine hours, to be exact – and did not meditate during that time, mind still too focused on the facts laid out in front of him to go to that place of calm. When she did become available, he called, and she picked up around a minute later, her tired visage greeting him.

"Spock? Is that really you? You're not calling at your usual time – is something wrong." Amanda peered closer, immediately becoming 'worried', as Jane would put it. "Spock, tell me right now, what is the matter? You look upset."

Spock did not know what his facial expressions were at that moment in time, but if they were that obvious that his mother noticed…a check on his mental shields saw them practically gone, only the most basic shield up, alongside the large, but terribly thin wisps of his own self-built shields, both only keeping out the thoughts and emotions of his fellow crewman. He shuddered to think what would happen if the basic shield fell.

"Spock, please answer me, baby."

"Jane," he decided to reply with her name, hands coming up to his head in an unconscious move. "I have unprecedented feelings for Captain Jane Theodora Kirk the Second of the USS Enterprise."

"Oh, Spock…" Amanda's voice came across the line, soothing in its tone and volume. Spock shut his eyes, concentrating on it. "My baby boy in love, I thought I'd never see the day…What happened for you to realise, Spocky?"

The nickname reminded him of Jane sharply, "The Enterprise is currently orbiting the planet of Celera. It is famous amongst the planets of this galaxy for one of the most amazing gardens. Jane insisted on taking the crew down in shifts during the daytime, and her words were greatly received. Everything went well, and the crew went down during sunlight hours – but three days after, when Jane went down with a security detail to talk to the inhabitants who slept in the day, it was the evening. The inhabitants awoke and killed two of the security detail, Officers Lennox and Hofstadter, and infected the Captain with…" he hesitated, knowing such matters and expressions were frowned upon to speak of in human culture.

"Yes?" Amanda encouraged, sounding worried once more.

"Doctor McCoy and Lieutenant Uhura called it Sex Pollen," Spock spoke reluctantly, causing Amanda's eyes to widen. He looked to his lap. "We managed to get her to the medbay, but she was rather…forward, before she was sedated. More than usual, I must add." He looked up at his mother, expecting more concern, only… "Mother, this is not a laughing matter."

"Sorry, sorry," she stifled a giggle, hand going over her mouth for a few seconds. After she was calm, she spoke again to him. "What happened before she was sedated? Did she…jump you?" Spock had a feeling, as he looked at his mother, that she was taking private amusement in her words, but deigned to ignore it.

"Jane was rather assertive both vocally and with body language – her…her hands were all over me, in all the places in which…" Spock, at this, once more hesitated. This was his mother. Was this a taboo subject?

"You can talk to me about anything, Spock," Amanda assured him over the channel, eyes glinting and a small smile gracing her lips. "So, she put her hands in all the right places – for a human?"

"For a Vulcan," he uttered lowly, "and she was both projecting and trying to keep her emotions hidden. It was understandable, for the former, but the latter was…confounding. Mother, Jane is in love with me, but does not wish me to know, even under the influence of the Celeron Pollen. After her unwitting declaration, I came to the conclusion that I reciprocate her feelings."

Amanda leaned forward, face expanding on his screen. "Spock, did you just say-"

"I am in love with Jane Kirk."

"I want grandbabies." Amanda immediately replied, causing Spock to look at her with a scandalised expression she wasn't used to seeing. "What? Don't look at me like that – you'll find the prospect alluring in the future too, if you confront her."

"Mother, I-" A knock came from his door. "Someone is here. Give me one moment, Mother." Spock got up unsteadily, going towards the door, opening it only to be faced with the object of his affections.

"Jane."

"Jane?" Amanda peered at the screen, trying to see her. "Spock, bring her over here! I want to see her face when you tell her."

"Mother, it would be very inappropriate for such matters to be communicated across an interplanetary channel, let alone in my quarters," Spock spoke to her, affronted even as Jane raised an eyebrow, peering around him to the screen.

"Oh, hi Mrs Grayson! How you doing?" Jane then slipped past Spock, her hand deliberately sliding up from his stomach to his arm and chest as she made her way towards the computer, causing Spock to shiver, shoulders raising as he felt more of the same hidden emotion.

"I'm good, Jane. Spock just told me about your misadventure to Celera."

Immediately Jane winced, "Ah. That. Uh, apologies for like, practically molesting your son." Amanda actually had the gall to laugh.

"Oh, trust me dear, he liked it. He was just telling me something he should be probably telling you right about now." Jane reared back a touch, before she turned to Spock abruptly.

"Spock?"

Spock, still hyper-tense, turned to her with a snap, throat tight. "Captain?"

Jane gave him a look, "Well? What do you have to tell me?" There was a silence, before Amanda called through the screen.

"Computer of the USS Enterprise, Parental Override – shut and lock all exits to Spock's cabin for five Earth hours." Immediately the door shut, beeping as the lock flipped. Jane squawked, standing.

"'manda! Why'd you do that? I'm still suffering aftereffects from the pollen – do you _want_ your son to have to knock me unconscious because I'm being unduly forthright?"

"I want _him_ to be forthright," Amanda said, voice smug. "You see, Spock's mental barriers are very low right now – maybe you can see? It wouldn't take much for him to drop into a variation of Pon Farr if done _just_ right."

Jane looked at her, shocked, "Are you _asking_ me to have sex with your son?"

Amanda just giggled, falling back in her chair, "Sorry, I'm a bit intoxicated. I get loopy after having Vulcan fruit juice. But yeah, even in my right mind I'd say this – but perhaps a little less _forthright_." She winked suggestively before leaning forward to the screen, tapping it. "Bye Spock, love you!" The chat cut off, before Jane shook her head, turning off Spock's computer.

"Wow, your mom went round the bend for a bit there. What does she think – that we're a couple or something?" She looked to Spock, only to find him staring at her. "Spock?"

"I…" he trailed off, a hand going to his head, "My mother is correct when she says my mental barriers are lowered. I have not rebuilt them due to needing to know why I am like this. I came to the conclusion that I have feelings for you, and that made me…panic. I contacted my mother, as you might have already deduced."

Jane stared at him.

"Captain?" She got up, Spock not letting his eyes stray from her as she stopped a foot away from him, bringing up a hand – with two fingers extended. His heart beat faster, before he looked her in the eye. "Captain, what you are offering goes against regulation-"

"I feel the same, and would like you to know."

There was a pause, "I already do. I wanted to confirm my own feelings though before I approached you with such…with such an offer you are extending." There was another silence, before he brought up his hand, fingers extending to touch hers. Immediately he felt a flash of the same emotion from before, which then buzzed as he belatedly pushed his own feelings to her, a smile lighting up her face.

"Love you, Spocky," she said, before stepping closer, so their chest nearly touched. "Can we do an Earth-kiss now?"

"If you wish," he murmured, not letting her fingers fall from his as he leant down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips – which she changed, increasing pressure so he was in unfamiliar territory. It was different than when he was with Uhura – she let him set the pace, and they hadn't gone far before deciding they were better off as coworkers. He felt her fingers slipping so took her hand as a whole, gasping at the strange, new influx of feelings as she slipped her tongue into his mouth, tracing curves and edges with a sense of possessiveness that had him reeling.

When Jane finally pulled away, Spock found his human side wanting.

"Will you say it back?" She muttered, almost to herself as she kissed him again, as he intended to do originally, drawing it out before lowering down, resting her blonde head against his chest, wavy strands that she let deliberately escape her low bun draping across the blue of his shirt, their linked hands resting comfortably next to her.

"Say what back?"

"I love you, idiot," she murmured, "or do you not know what it means to little old me to say it at all?"

Spock frowned down at her. "You sound…bitter, Captain."

"Call me Jane when we're like this, Spock."

Spock nodded, "Jane…does it mean something to you that I say such words, when you know and feel how much I care for you already?"

"Yeah, it does mean something. It's like…an affirmative, or a declaration. Like, I ask you something and you go 'yes captain', or if I said, 'I'm worried even though I know it'll go fine' and you say 'everything will go fine, stop worrying'."

"I would not say that," he interjected, only for her to give him a slight glare from her position, through her hair. "Though I do see what you mean. You already know, but receive both happiness and assurance from the gesture." He brought his free hand up to her head, pushing the stray strands out of the way so he could see her face clearly. "Jane, I love you dearly, and I gain positive emotion when I hear you say it back."

She grinned widely at him, leaning up to kiss his nose, "See! Not that hard – and I love you too. Now your mother has locked us in her for five hours. Want to play some chess?"

"I would, Jane, if you are well enough."

The captain made a noise of uncaring, "I'm fine, let's just play already."

* * *

When the Enterprise docks on New Vulcan, Amanda is waiting with confusion. Jane had sent her a personal request for her to be there on the greeting party, neglecting to mention why. Due to some malfunctions in the ship, they'd had to wait over half a year without the proper communications arrays – cut off from the Federation except when they visited planets with Starfleet Offices.

A little impatient, Amanda sighed, watching as cargo was unloaded from the bay to distract herself from the empty crew walkway, only to feel a tap on her shoulder. She turned – and immediately gasped upon seeing Jane.

"Jane! How are you?" She hugged her tightly, noting how she tensed, hand going to her lower stomach. "Jane? Did you get shot?"

"No, no," Jane shook off her worries, even smiling some, "nothing like that. I had a caesarean last week." Amanda choked a little.

"Caesarean? You- you had a b-"

"Mother, I have someone that you will wish to meet," Spock's voice interrupted her, causing Amanda to look over Jane's shoulder to where Spock stood, looking completely out of place as he carried a newborn. Amanda's eyes immediately filled with tears, noticing the pointed ears and green-tinted skin, before she stepped forward, Jane's hand grasped in her own.

"I'm a grandmother?"

Jane kissed her cheek, "To a complicated alien baby boy, who, I might add, Spock agreed to name after both our fathers. Grandma, meet your grandson, George Sarek Grayson, born six days ago in the middle of unchartered space. Really, you should have mentioned that Vulcan pregnancy lasts six months – McCoy was worried for our health. The c-section was because of my uterus being crap at opening for a baby, but other than that we're good. Wanna hold him?"

Amanda, crying now, nodded, Spock handing the child over. Immediately Amanda cradled him, holding his hot warmth to her chest.

"He's just like you Spock," she whispered, awed, "but your face, Janey."

"We know," Jane wrapped an arm around her waist, head on Amanda's shoulder. "This also might be a good time for me to mention that I'm your daughter-in-law."

Amanda just smiled a happy smile.


End file.
